Using the Dating Game in Business

Happy Friday Everyone!

Wondering what the Shire Partners are and why this logo is in my blog? The Shire Partners is my S Corporation and it's differentiated from the toys we make (Paw Pets) because we intend to make many different products and it also helps avoid liability issues. I'm happy to answer any questions you have regarding starting a company but this blog will be focused on how you can use your social skills or the "dating game" in business.

A study once showed that those who say the least at a party are considered by the vast majority of people in attendance to be the most "interesting". So what is it about silence that adds intrigue? How can this intrigue be turned into desire or value? And most importantly, how can you use this seemingly backwards logic of saying nothing to actually promote your business?

1) The first lesson, before listening, is to be at the party. If you don't go then you have no chance at all of meeting anyone. This is true in business as well: go to the stores, make a polite call to introduce yourself and your product but don't launch into your whole sales pitch unless asked (just what they need to know for you to send more info or open the door for discussion) and be as brief as possible; they will ask for more information if they want it and you can happily send it over for them to review at their convenience. But just get to the party and start listening.

2) Now that you are at the party, the next step is to display quiet confidence: if you are confident in yourself and your product then you won't have to push anything on anyone, they will come to you. Walk around the store and look at products related and unrelated to your own. Buy something that won't last long like an organic treat (specific to my business), be extra nice and then come back another day to replace the treat and then hint at your actual goal. Be the first to get off of the phone in a sales call; don't keep selling once you've been asked for product info etc. Everyone leads busy lives filled with spam and interruptions so don't be a part of that, be part of the solution to it. Also, don't be afraid to ask how someone is doing, really listen, and then move on without talking about yourself.

3) Let others do the talking: the more they say or divulge to you before you open your trap, the more likely it is they will actually want to know about you. Also, when they start asking questions you will already be in a good position because you've listened to what they said, hopefully done a little analysis without letting your eyes dart from place to place, and are ready to answer in a brief but thoughtful way. Them: "We don't really carry pet toys; we are just a pet daycare center with a few little things here and there." This should not seem like a "no", it's an amazing opportunity to a) compliment this person on their daycare or how happy the pets seem and b) offer her a free toy for the pets to play with while they hang out all day. She thinks it's free but you just bought some amazing advertising and possibly a chance to be a part of their expansion into another segment of their business.

5) The element of surprise: This is similar to the last point but has one very important difference. This requires letting the person you are talking or selling to speak about your product or your specialty and letting them be the expert. When they have clearly finished, briefly support their opinions and then surprise them with a related insight that is supportive or just adds a little. And don't go on and on and repeat yourself just because they respond well to what you are saying (I am working hard on this!)

7) Were you listening? Prove it but don't be obnoxious. Don't repeat what has been said or reiterate their points beyond a simple agreement. You don't want to be seen ass a kiss-ass and your ultimate goal is to make them feel knowledgeable, listened to, and above all "special".

My next blog will be focused on making people feel special and a quick look at the art of positive manipulation.